4 July 2010

brightness over the blue


It’s the end of our week off. Where did the time go? We decided to take afternoon off today. But I was feeling BLUE.


E-course has finished. I felt like I’ve lost some kind of routine to get a tap on my back. I felt suddenly alone. I was suffering from this “withdrawn” syndrome from the big event. Where do I go from here? As for my pottery studio-to-be, we didn’t quite complete what we planned, despite the physical fatigue that has mounted over the week. I felt helpless for not being able to do much without my husband. It was supposed to be “my” studio. I felt bad. What could I possibly do by myself?


The sky went cloudy. As if it was spreading inside my head with those negative questions.Then it started to shower. My heart went tearful. Does anybody feel the same? I wonder. Despite all the support, energy and effort, you still feel blue. When I am like this, my self value will go fragile.


Looking at tons of “untouched” to do lists and thinking what I could do, there was my husband calm voice from behind. “You’ve done lots. You are allowed.” He relaxes in a garden and smiles, “Happy Sunday Night!”


I told myself that it is important to accept what you have done little by little, didn’t I? Well, did I do it? No? Then, why not now?

So far we.....Completed the decking where needed to be rebuilt. It’s achieved. Painted the iron gate and old BBQ stand. It’s done. It’s good. Helped out neighbour’s garden and his 80th birthday party went well. It’s good. Sorted meal for my step daughter’s graduation. We had a great time. Visited the RHS garden. Enjoyed and been inspired. Popped over to my work for the open evening of the exhibition. Sold some work, which I am proud of art-makers as an instructor. Blinds all washed and cleaned. Went back to karate training that I neglected. Studio gutters completed. Re-felted the roof. Have 2/3 of ceiling insulated and plaster boarded. We almost there. We worked hard and worked as a team. That IS GOOD. We have done OK. Actually we have done more than OK. I must remember this.


The shower has gone and the bright sky came back. I know it’s ok to be blue at times, but now I am ready to say good by to the blue-ness. A new start tomorrow. I went to join my husband for a fresh air of happy sunday night.

happy sunday night to you!

5 comments:

  1. its good to remember what you have achieved as well as what you want to achieve. sounds like you are striding forward in great leaps to me. And SUndays. well a bit of rest and recuperation and little self pats on the back for what you have achieved already.... exactly.xxxx

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  2. Beautiful post. I have felt the same in the last days and reading your words made me realise I should not be so hard on myself. Happy sunday night!

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  3. Thanks guys. Hope you had a good sunday too. xm

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  4. We forget so quickly and easily things that we have achieved and done well, don't we? I've never managed to figured out why we do that but I've been trying to change that. One of the reasons why I started the blog is to give me a really easy and quick way to look back and see for myself how much progress I am making, even if it's small progress I don't care, the important thing is that I keep going and keep trying and that's what keeps me inspired. Would love to see some more of your work here, I hope you post some for us to see :)

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  5. Dropping in to give you a HUGE HUG my fellow flyer!!

    I hope you are feeling a bit brighter! Love to you ! xxx

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