How are you all doing?
I am incredibly slow and low with everything at the moment, as the fear of dissertation is taking over my daily life, as well as a huge concern on my mentor’ illness. There seems to be not much improvement with my work but thought I’d just say hi to the world. Life is such a cruel monster at times stealing things around you, but hopefully we all see the peaceful light at the end of the tunnel.
I am incredibly slow and low with everything at the moment, as the fear of dissertation is taking over my daily life, as well as a huge concern on my mentor’ illness. There seems to be not much improvement with my work but thought I’d just say hi to the world. Life is such a cruel monster at times stealing things around you, but hopefully we all see the peaceful light at the end of the tunnel.
The image is new Ai-Awase test pieces that came out of a kiln this morning. It took me ages to develop this far but there is still a long way to go. My mentor said, “you can have as many ideas as you want. But just because your idea is precious to you, you don’t have to put them all together now. You must develop it and grow it before putting it into your work.” When I was telling him the idea of my final project and dissertation, he pointed out that I was not thinking enough… He shown me a number of pages of drawings and endless ideas in his sketchbooks, which rather made me feel inadequate.
Whether you agree with what he said or not, you know now the fact that there is NO EXCUSES. Just Do It. x maki
You are far from inadequate! You are creative, unique and determined and you will succeed. We all work in our own way and you are finding yours. Much love to you....keep smiling! Moira x
ReplyDeleteWow, those are beautiful Maki! Do be gentle with yourself, you're probably doing more than you think you are. I'm with Moira, you are far from inadequate!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to be in the middle of that tension between where we are and where we want to be. You will move through it, one idea, one day at a time...
Stephanie
xo
I agree with the earlier comments. It is important to develop ones own method of work, idea development and idea editing. Your mentor has developed his way. This works for him. It may not work for you. It does not mean you are wrong nor that he is right. You are both different. Culturally different. Physically different. Technically different. This does not mean wrong. The 'game' is to find out what is right and what works for oneself. This is especially difficult in times of stress, uncertainty and non-productive periods.
ReplyDeleteI think there are two different point mentioned; one is including to many ideas in a single piece of work (which can make it confused or too rich in ideas); two is the development of an idea so that it is expressed clearly.
What helps oneself to focus, develop and strengthen ideas? Is it drawing? Is it reading? Is it listening to music? Is it watching nature? Is it talking to others? Is it talking to oneself? Is it writing? Is it making?
I don't think hesitation about how to continue into the unknown is an 'excuse' but the need to be gentle with oneself and find steps that help one continue moving forward is a natural concern and a puzzle.
I find doing rather than thinking can help overcome a block. The act of making reveals ways to go forward that drawing endlessly in a notebook would never have revealed. Alternatively drawing diagrams for the dissertation may help clarify what need to be written and stark letters onto the empty page. Ideas and thoughts are often the starting point for the process of doing but doing funds ideas. Thinking and doing work together, hand-in-hand. The right hand washes the left.
From what little I've seen, your work is light and fresh, your mentors is heavy and solid. They are different in look and mindset. Take care not to be crushed. Give yourself a chance.
Apologies for making such a long comment. Feel free to delete it.
I know exactly how you feel at the moment, I am in the the final year of a BA in Community and Youth Work. Keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the end :-)
ReplyDeleteI love those Bowls and the shapes are wonderful, I am sure your dissertation will work out the way you want it :-)
Moira,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouraging voice of yours. It certainly made me smile :)
Hi Steph, Thank you for your comment. One step at time is my motto, so I shall work through it like you said.
ReplyDeleteNeil,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your input. It really does make sense when someone explains like this! Interesting to hear about 'thinking and doing', like you said, I find doing gives more forward feeling and drawing a map did help me plan for the dissertation.
Thank you again for taking your time to share your thought! Much appreciated.
Hi Helen,
ReplyDeleteOH, you are in the same boat! Best wishes to you too! Good will come in the end :) xm
oh, you have fellow travelers who understand...i am one of them! you have many wonderful ideas and a unique way of looking at the world and your work. in the end, your decisions and voice is the one that matters most. you are surrounded by a cloud of supporters :)!!!
ReplyDeleteHi - love this white dinnerware. What is the
ReplyDeletesubject of your dissertation?
Good luck Maki, it seems to me that everything that comes from your kiln is truly beautiful. You have a magic touch.
ReplyDeleteI think you have a unique 'voice' and so many never ever achieve that ever. am sure that your tutor is pushing you because you can take it! sending you encouragement!! xx
ReplyDeletenot because you need it to be adequate, but that there is in you the potential to shine brighter than you are already. x
ReplyDeletebecause you are already shiny
ReplyDeleteHi Maki
ReplyDeleteI know just what you are going through, believe me when I say I woke every morning and for just a few moments everything was glorious and then I remembered my dissertation and a feeling of sickness hit me in the stomach! I've never felt a feeling like it, was worse than giving birth ;)
I struggle to get words in my head onto paper, all makes sense in my head until I begin to write and then I panicked.
Like you I am passionate about what I do and find creating with my hands so normal, I accepted that I could only do my best and wrote with passion about things close to my heart. It all comes together in the end and you WILL find the light at the end of the tunnel!
I can tell your mentor can see something special in you and is pushing you to do more which is good. I had the same thing happen to me and I'm so please that they did, you will feel deflated at the time but will be glad in the end ;)
Jax x
Thank you thank you all! Really encouraging, so kind of you taking time to write comments for me.
ReplyDeletePaige, I will let you know my subject later on here, but for now, it is a secret because I am going to so an online questtionnair here on my blog soon, so I don't to influence my idea for peple's answer... so watch this space.